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Am I Too Much?

 

I'm sitting in this question as I reflect on a conversation from the last night. My teenage daughter goes to a special school in a different state, and I am going to visit her next weekend. We were talking on the phone last night, and I asked what she wanted to do during our visit. I then proceeded to list off about 10 different things we might consider, all of which are high energy activities, high adrenaline, like hiking, biking, and kayaking. This was the second conversation where I had inquired about her thoughts, and she was rather quiet and reserved. After a brief silence, she said, "can we just hang out at the hotel and watch a movie or something?"

There it was. That familiar feeling of being too much. I love to be active and have all sorts of plans each day, but she does not. Because I want our visits to be unique and memorable, I forgot to consider my daughter's wants and needs. It seems my ego and anxiety took over like an overzealous wedding planner and pushed my daughter out of the way.

It was a great reminder when I worry I am not enough that I will overcompensate by being too much. My daughter, in her kind and gentle way, showed me once again that I am absolutely enough, that I don't have to "do", that I can "be", that it's me she wants without any bells and whistles. I can't help but wonder how much energy I waste chasing the elusive "enough". If I truly believe I am enough, how might that change my parenting, marriage, friendships, and professional endeavors?

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