Discomfort is the Name of the Game
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” - M. Scott Peck Discomfort is the name of the game. It is the way humans chart new ideas, thoughts, and behaviors. We learn from experience. Allowing the people in our personal and professional lives to learn through discomfort can be a huge challenge. I’m a recovering fixer, rescuer, and saver. I love to solve other people’s problems. I’ve been working on not doing that anymore. It’s really hard. Here are some examples of things I’ve had to muscle through:
- Allowing son to nearly fail Honors English. - Letting husband get upset over the chaotic state of the basement that he created. - Watching a client make a bad decision that is clearly a distraction from the real problem. - Witnessing my daughter suffer the consequences of her behavior and not taking responsibility for it. Listen. It’d be super easy for me to relapse into "fixing" these situations. If I did, however, I’d be doing it for me. Not them. Which is why I sometimes have to bite my tongue, sit on my hands and take a deep breath. Not interrupting someone else’s learning experience is both powerful and uncomfortable.