• Allison Garner

Who Am I ...?

A funny thing starts to happen when I get the things that I wish for. I start to question who I think I am. For instance, I enroll a dream client and suddenly I wonder if I am good enough to provide them with the value I promised. Or I get to speak to an organization that I've been wanting to work with, and I find myself instantly unable to articulate what I can do for them. This pattern continues to repeat itself, so it must be serving some purpose for me.

Self-sabotage is one of those things that makes no sense to me, especially when I am in the midst of doing it. The other day I came up with a visualization for self-sabotage. I imagine myself running a race and noticing that I am in the front, and I quickly remember that I am not good at running, so I slow down and let others pass me so I can prove to myself that I am not good enough. The self fulfilling prophecy continues.

For me, when I wonder if I am good enough or I ask myself who I think I am, I try to picture myself in that race. I keep my eyes on the task at hand, remember that I am good enough, and focus on serving others powerfully. That voice that nags at me in the background will never go away, but it can get quieter and harder to hear.

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