• Allison Garner

Self-Deception

We are masters at deceiving ourselves. Sometimes I get really mad at how easy it is to deceive myself. I have a colleague, Jim, who has been really difficult to work with. I've chosen to take this personally, which means that I have made up all sorts of stories about him. I have deceived myself so that I can justify my self-righteous resentment. When I was collaborating with another colleague, I mentioned that we might get some flack from Jim. My colleague perked up and said then let's include him in our collaboration. In that moment, I realized that all of my self-deceptions had kept me from seeing Jim as a human. For me to do that, I have to lead with my heart. I have to erase all the stories I've made up in my head about Jim. I have to stop looking for proof that my stories are right. I have to look for the things that I love and respect about Jim instead. It's so difficult to interrupt a pattern. With one sentence, my colleague offered be another way of being which is much more aligned with who I am.

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