• Allison Garner

Can't Hate Myself Into ...

One of the observations I have been sitting with lately is how people with high levels of self-awareness seem to be kind and gentle to themselves. They don't use hateful language when talking about their mistakes or missteps. They don't make self-deprecating jokes about themselves. They don't seem to let their ego drive the bus. I was talking with my coach the other day about my parenting struggles, and I was saying things like, "what kind of mother am I", "what is wrong with me", and "I HAVE to figure this out". My coach replied, "Allison, you can't hate yourself into being a better mother." And there it was. A beautifully simple but powerful statement that seemed so incredibly obvious yet I couldn't see it til she said it. When that critic voice pops up and starts barking at me about my poor parenting, I just respond with "I can't hate myself into being better."Genius!

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